Monday, September 21, 2009

Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know About Me

I am honored to have received the Honest Scrap blog award from both Michelle at Vintage Junky and Becky at Farmgirl Paints. Thanks, gals!

I'm supposed to list the rules and then pass this along to 5 other people, but I'm a rebel rouser and have chosen to skip that part. In truth, I hope everyone follows suit in posting 10 Truths about you. Reading these randoms bits never gets old to me!

Here are 10 honest things about Me:

1. I just had a nose job.

OK. Sorry. It's a new day...

1. I once totaled my Pontiac Sunfire upon arriving for my first interview for a job where having a very good driving record is a requirement. I wasn't sure where this place was and when I spotted it on the left, I momentarily forgot that I was on a busy one-way street. I turned directly into the path of a cargo van, which had no choice but to slam into my driver's side door. Once I made it inside, the good people at Enterprise helped me get in touch with Cory and as I talked to him, I remember a random guy picking glass out of my hair and another random guy dabbing blood off my hands and arms. I went ahead and did my interview. (I was stuck there for a while, so why not?) I distinctly remember answering a particular question and glancing out the window only to see the carcass of my car being hoisted up onto a tow truck and hauled away. I did get the job and a couple of years later, the glass-picker and I were awarded Branch of the Year.

2. I am a firm believer that eating a fruit-based dessert for breakfast cannot possibly be worse than eating pancakes with syrup. At this very moment, I'm having a slice of apple pie and a cup of tea.

3. I'm at the end of a years-long love affair with Ebay. Sure, we still talk, but not like we used to. (Having kids and a budget will do that to you.) Some of my strangest purchases over the years: A case of Revlon Outrageous Hair shampoo (It's discontinued and I missed the smell), A box of Teen Magazines from the late '80s and early '90s (My mom threw my stash away! Hello? I was specifically saving those for Ruby!), The Dances With Wolves soundtrack, my kitchen island.

4. As teenagers, Sarah and I were entirely obsessed with supermodels. We tossed their names around in conversation with one another as if they were a regular part of our group. We knew ALL the trivia and gossip. We had a bad feeling about Claudia's inexplicable romance with the creepy David Copperfield and we worried about Helena when Michael Hutchence passed away. We thought Naomi was a total B and wondered how Stella had ever become a model in the first place. To this day, we lament the fact that supermodels rarely grace the covers of fashion mags.


Trish Goff, a grunge-era fave.

5. I can (and have) eaten an entire jar of Chi-Chi's Restaurant Style Mild Salsa with Santitas White Corn Tortilla Chips in one sitting. Don't judge.

6. I make my bed almost every day, but even when I don't, I make it before I climb back in, at the end of the day. What can I say? I like smooth sheets.

7. When I was a freshman in college, I injured my knee. I was standing in line for food at the Campus Center, holding a plate that had only two slices of cucumber on it. It was a special International dinner. There was candlelight and creepy foreign music. My friends and acquaintances sat all around me, eating. Out of nowhere, a guy friend of mine came up behind me and bumped the backs of my knees with his knees. I turned to see who it was and fell to the floor. We then discovered that my left knee cap was floating somewhere on my lower thigh. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced and it was mortifying. Matt was crying, I was screaming, people were eating, music was playing, candles were flickering. It stayed exactly like that until the ambulance finally arrived. They were able to re-position my knee cap, but I favor it to this day. I underwent months of crutches and braces and physical therapy. Things are still a little awkward between Matt and I.

8. I am not good at being concise. (You hadn't noticed?) When I started my job in DC that I wasn't particularly qualified for, my beloved boss told me that my writing was "too prosey". I was crushed. I immediately removed descriptive wording from my writing and learned to write in sound bites. Later the same year, he restored my wilted confidence by giving me two of the best compliments I have ever received. On the first occasion, he told me that I was "the cat's pa-jommas" (spelled to reflect his pronunciation), on the second occasion, upon hearing that we were moving back to IN, he deemed himself "heart sick". I owe much to Mr. Rector and loved every minute of my time with him, even if he is the Meanest Man in Washington.

9. I have never learned to do a proper cartwheel or roller skate. I am sure that this qualifies me as the most uncoordinated girl on the face of the Earth.

10. Throughout my entire growing-up years, I thought for sure that I was going to one day be a doctor. I believed it so much that most of the people around me started to believe it. I even won a scholarship just for people going into the medical field. Then, I got to college and hated Calculus and struggled with Advanced Chemistry and realized that I did not want to go to college for the next 10 years. So, I majored in Psychology and loved every minute of it, although 90% of the work I have done since college has been entirely unrelated. Also, I have discovered that I am extremely squeamish when it comes to seeing or even hearing about gross things related to the human body. In short, I think everything worked out just right. I can't imagine that there is a large market for doctors who can't handle the sight of blood or guts.

Speaking of squeamish, I'm off to have my nose systematically disemboweled. Wish me luck and keep the smelling salts handy.

22 comments:

  1. Love your list!! Oh the knee cap thing sounded horrible. You poor thing and how embarassing:o Thanks for playing along...even if you did change the rules. I actually like your way better:)

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  2. I remember your knee-cap injury very clearly. We were there and saw the whole thing happen. In fact, it's a story Ben likes to tell, when he wants to make Matt feel bad. And, yes, Matt still feels bad.

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  3. Very funny and cute list. You have set the bar way too high for any of the rest of us to do a list like yours :))

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  4. You crack me up! I looooooved Outragous shampoo, ohhhh the smell! I've never even thought of looking for it on ebay! PS Christy Turlington was always my favorite :)

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  5. I am totally the same with sheets. I need them tucked in tight and flat. Nice and neat. Super models..I loved Christy Turlington and Linda Evangelista. Her short hair was rockin. I loved the George Michael video with all of the super models in it... can't remember the name just loved the video.

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  6. Great list! And I am sooo with you on the fruit desert for breakfast! Especially this time of year.

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  7. I never get sick of reading these kinds of posts...especially from funny gals like you!!! How's that nose doin and where's the profile pick (no pun intended)?!

    :) T

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  8. Your get to know me facts were so much better than mine!! I was having SUCH a hard time knowing myself! You cracked me up--and the knee one made me squirm. Wowza!

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  9. so much fun!
    hope the nose job turned out o.k....all i kept thinking of was michael jackson....

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  10. You are such a great comedic writer---I always laugh when reading your posts. Such a great writer!

    I want to officially take it on to come on out to IN to teach your how to rollerskate--I'll even bring satin shorts and matching jacket (it was 1981 when I was queen of the rollerrink, after all).

    I hope you're enjoying a wonderful Midwestern Autumn. I'm so envious!
    ox Lara

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  11. Love, love the job story, where good driving is a pre-requisite... lol-

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  12. You are hilarious.... I am rolling! I can't do a cartwheel either... I land on my butt, cross-legged. I convinced all my friends that was the way the college cheerleaders did them!

    SMiles!
    Michelle

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  13. I, of course, love knowing all of these things about you, backwards, forwards and up a wall hurling 100 times. I love being probably the only other person reading your blog that recognizes Trish's face, and was there for your first date (ok, maybe not, but close) with Chi-Chi and when you met Outrageous, and of course I love knowing who Matt is, and remembering that night well and helping nurse you back to health.

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  14. I am a list lover. That was so fun! I threw up a little in my mouth thinking about them yanking yards and yards of gauze out of your nose. I'm squeemish too. Bless your heart.

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  15. what a wonderfully honest and interesting post! thanks for sharing!

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  16. How could you even think of those? Hilarious. I could beat you in supermodel trivia. But then we'd both be embarassed.

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  17. You crack me up. I love these. I can't do a cartwheel either and I have to make my bed every day. Thanks for sharing.

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  18. Oh, how I remember driving to Bethel in the middle of the night with your then flame, to bring you home to recover! I think you inherited your coordination from me...Sorry!

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  19. oh my gosh, I share a lot of your philosophies! I too think eating a fruit based dessert for breakfast is better than pancakes, and I am convinced it is also non caloric. And you are not weird for making your bed before you get into it...that's a must!
    xoxo, Tiffany

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  20. re: number 7

    i just had a dream about bethel last night; it was the start of a semester and i couldn't remember my classes and couldn't find my schedule but i was absolutely certain i was late for my first class, whatever it might be. and people kept piling into my dorm room because it was the room one had to walk through to get from the entrance to the rest of the dorm rooms, which totally made sense in my dream. the thing that didn't make sense was that there were also BOYS in the room, and i was all, folks! i do not even know you and i am certain it is not open dorms because it is 8:15 in the morning and i am LATE. FOR. CLASS.

    very harrowing.

    ps please work on the cartwheel thing or our friendship may be in jeopardy.

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