Monday, June 29, 2009

This Guy Here

This is typical Calvin du jour. Here, you'll see him clutching his new favorite companion, his brief case, gifted to him from Nana and Papa. It is stuffed with all manner of scribbled-upon paper scraps, as many ink pens as he can sneak from my desk, a broken calculator and a pack of gum.

This guy here has been cracking me straight up. Tonight he informed me that Ruby was "causing confusion and delay". (A line from Thomas the Train, I believe...)

Here's a transcript from a recent bedtime chat that the two of us had. I ran down immediately and documented it, because it was too good not to. Please keep in mind, there was literally no pausing between questions. It was like the rapid fire bonus round of Pyramid.

Calvin: Can we talk for a little bit?
Me: Sure.
Calvin: Why does the earth never get hit by one of those huge, huge rocks?
Me: Oh, like an asteroid?
Calvin: Yes. An asteroid. How big is the Universe?
Me: Um...it's very, very big. It goes on forever. Actually, Daddy is a better person to ask questions about the Universe.
Calvin: Is it dark in the Universe?
Me: Well, it depends on how far away something is from the sun. If it's far from the sun, then it would be dark.
Calvin: What makes a light bulb burn out?
Me:There's a little wire called a filament and when it breaks, the light burns out.
Calvin: What is a sin?
Me: Well, it's when we do something that we know we shouldn't do.
Calvin: Oh, like when we sneeze on someone?
Me: No, that's just an accident. A sin is when we act mean or naughty.
Me: OK, you get one more question, so make it a really good, important one.
Calvin: Tell me about throwing up. How does that happen?
Me: If we eat something rotten or get a germ in our tummy, the tummy doesn't like it and has to get rid of it, so it sends it right back up so it can feel better.
Calvin: But why do people cry when they throw up?
Me: It doesn't feel good to throw up. It's a bad feeling and it's not fun. I even cry a little when I throw up.
Calvin: Why do big people cry without making any sound? They are totally, totally silent? But little kids go [imitates crying]?
Me: Goodnight, Calvin!